I am no expert on the subject of the Meyer’s and Briggs personality profiling. Meyer’s and Briggs has 16 personality classifications. I find it super interesting and fun, but go figure it’s predicted my personality type would. I’m the annoying person that has made everyone I know take it. I like to see if I guessed their personality type correctly. I guessed my best friend, my mom, and I was off by one letter with my ex. It’s a good tool, providing a bit of self-discovery that may help you identify your strengths, weaknesses, and improve communication with others. The memes on Pinterest are a crack up too (warning: I’m also a dork, though). This is my experience as an INTJ mom.
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As I said I am no expert, these are generalizations that have rang true to me as an INTJ mom. Things I have identified in myself as an INTJ for better or worse.
I need to THINK!
INTJ’s spend a lot of time in their mind, lost in thought. Our thought process is complex always turning asking questions, solving problems, and improving most everything we encounter. We are bad at not being completely within the moment, because our mind is typically running with 20 tabs open. This also causes us guilt. When we know we should be in the moment, but have trouble pulling ourselves away from our thoughts.
This needed thinking time can be hard on an INTJ mom. Kids are loud and needy. Making it very hard to recluse into our much needed head time to solve the world’s problems. This can make us feel frustrated, which also causes us guilt. As it’s important to be our best self in all areas of our life. We know feeling frustrated because a child is interrupting us is not a rational feeling. We know children need a lot of attention and are loud and playful. We do enjoy this, but we do better if we can balance out our time. I like to rise early at least 2 hours before my daughter, and I am horrible at staying up way too late so that I have plenty of time for myself to think.
INTJs are notoriously good at figuring out how to make things function better, this is second nature to us. As a mom, and all the baby products we have seen or used, we probably invent or improve upon a baby product monthly, if not weekly. Our minds even run through the necessary steps needed to make manufacturing and selling happen. We then file this idea away with all the others to be returned to after we complete the hundred other projects before it.
INTJs level of focus can be brutal. I’m horrible for telling myself after I complete this last little thing I will let myself pee, oops 3 hours later still focused, still haven’t peed. Moms in general already take care of others before their self, and INTJs bring it up a whole another level. INTJs are already bad about taking care of their physical and emotional needs anyways, so add mom duties on top of it and we are gluttons for self punishment.
INTJs experience a lot of guilt. We are extremely loyal and dedicated. We show love by figuring out how to improve the lives of the ones we love. If a loved one shares with us their passion, or we see something they’re good at, we encourage and figure out how to make it happen for them. We believe in constant growth, and don’t buy into impossibility. When others believe in something being impossible, it frustrates us and we greatly enjoy proving otherwise.
Anyhow we believe in growth, all things can be improved upon, including ourselves. The problem is we can take on too much, and put ridiculous expectations on ourselves. If we feel like we are not living up to our full potential in every area we beat ourselves up about it, and we generally never feel like we are living up to our full potential. Why, because we are a constant work in progress. We push ourselves very hard, and put ridiculous expectations upon ourselves.
INTJs can be annoyed and frustrated easily, but rarely become truly angry. As an INTJ mom, we logically know children are still learning to master emotion. However, when they do have an emotional outburst, we have a hard time relating on an emotional level. We look at the like them like, why? Calm yourself.
Small Talk Sucks
INTJs suck at small talk. This can make it difficult or tiring to try and socialize with other mommies. Social interactions with other moms can feel forced and awkward. If the other moms don’t share a similar interest or have a complex topic to try and work through, then it’s likely we just want to go home. However, if we do relate, this happens infrequently so we feel a rush of excitement.
INTJs are accustomed to being different and we are ok with it. We are quite and excellent at blending in to avoid the awkward small talk. However, we march to the beat of our own drum, which can draw unwanted attention. The choices we make don’t come lightly. We could care less about popular opinion if it doesn’t pass our internal rigorous testing. We evaluate based upon research, data, experience, then try to tear apart the idea to find its weaknesses, and assess our gut feeling. We have no issue with being different. We trust decisions based upon logic not popularity.
Never stop learning
INTJs greatly believe in learning. An INTJ mom may seem more lax as a mother than other personality types. She may give her child more freedoms. She will let her child play in mud, poke at bugs, and climb. She will let her kids fall down (all within reason, of course), because experience is the best teacher of all. The INTJ mom takes a lot of pride in seeing the young mind of a child exploring a world that is so brand new to them. We have a buzz of excitement when our kids are curious, ask questions, and study detail. These are characteristics that are strong and relatable to an INTJ. These are things an INTJ constantly does. So, we encourage it in others and take a lot of pleasure when we see our children’s imagination light up, their curiosity peaked, and the gears in their mind turning
What’s the Point?
I read this on another blog. I wish I could give credit, but I can’t find it now. Anyhow, the INTJ mom will bathe her child less often than the on top of routine an order ISTJ mom. The INTJ mom doesn’t see the point, they are just going to get dirty again. This also makes her feel bad that she may not be as good of a mother as she should be. This has been true for me. I was raised by an ISTJ mom. She is great at keeping order, and my daughter has gone to bed dirty many of times.
These are some of my observations within myself after learning about the personality quirks of the INTJ. The lonely awkward female, with plans to take over the world (mawahaa!!). The common stereotype for us rare INTJ women. What is your experience as an INTJ mom? What is your personality type, and how does it affect you as a mom? If you don’t know your personality type you can find out at 16personalities.com.
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